Tuesday night’s yoga class was the inspiration for this piece. It was a really great class after a really bad day.
The instructor always takes us on a guided meditation at the end of each session. She’ll speak for a little bit, taking us down, getting us to relax so we can reap the benefits of our session. She only speaks for about 1-2 minutes and the remainder of the time we spend in quiet, listening to soft music in the dimly lit room. I really needed to relax and let tensions go that night and so she told us to find a place that helped us relax. I immediately went to the beach in my mind. The beach I pictured was empty of anyone, including myself, it was just a picture of a serene beach. The best part was the music my instructor chose had the sound of ocean waves in the background, so the scene in my head felt so real I could feel the warm sand. And then she appeared.
This girl. Her body structure was the same as me and she was standing on the beach looking at the waves. I could see the back of her head, she had shoulder length brown hair blowing back in the wind. She wore a white, cotton sun dress. She felt so light, airy and happy. She reminded me of the girls I often paint and doodle, she looked like one of them come to life. I loved her instantly despite not knowing who she was. It only lasted a very few minutes before my busy brain wiped the scene out, but the feeling it left was enough. I felt elated. Like I saw something so secret and special. I immediately thought I wanted to paint that scene as a reminder to what I felt and saw during meditation.
On the drive home I pondered over it a bit more and then it hit me like a big ole’ truck. Duh.
Amber…meet your higher Self.
And suddenly I felt divided.
Divided by my higher Self guiding me to being authentic and then the other logical Amber that walks around day-to-day. The difference in feeling between the two is astounding. Logical, earth-bound Amber is very heavy, dull and moves like a machine, but this higher Amber, this authentic self, is light and free of all the constraints that family, friends, society put on her. She’s joyful and happy, carefree, loving and living her full potential.
And that is the Amber I want to be, because that is the person I am.
This little painting is a reminder of that. It confirms for me even further that 2012 is my year for adventure. It’s about embracing and loving myself, for who I am no matter what anyone else may think. It’s about living my potential and really LIVING, not just surviving.
And this adventure is going to be a wonderful trip!
