/begin Omaha mode

The first question we were asked when we told everyone we were relocating to Nebraska was “Nebraska? What’s in Nebraska?”

You think we had told them the husband was getting breast implants because he’s such a boob man.

I’ll tell you what’s in Nebraska.

wpid-img_20140928_1417072.jpg.jpeg Corn my dear friends. Miles of it. This photo was taken in the backyard of my in-laws which is Mooshi’s new favorite place.  Not only does he get treats from grandma (and lots of them!) he enjoys sprinting in their back yard, chasing the cats and barking at the lawn ornaments. He also rubs himself gloriously in who knows what out there. It’s his favorite thing (next to the treats of course!)

wpid-img_20140928_1417462.jpg.jpegThere is also The Old Market. There are many interesting and cool things there, like giant metal chickens.

wpid-img_20140918_1705372.jpg.jpegAnd clowns on motorcycles.

wpid-img_20140927_1443182.jpg.jpegWho doesn’t love a clown on a motorcycle!?

We also discovered a nice little Mexican restaurant and a lovely little bookstore.

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The weather has been great as fall approaches. The leaves are changing and falling from the trees. The air is crisp and smells of wood smoke. Mooshi loves the crispness but not his hoodie so much.

 wpid-20140913_1914093.jpg.jpegHe won’t be happy when it snows and I make him wear a dog jacket.

We’ve been shacking up with my best friend which has been lovely because I get to see her face everyday in the morning, while we’re still full of sleep and padding around in bare feet making coffee.

In two weeks we’ll be in our own space, we’re looking forward to it.

Omaha has been kind to us. Florida was so hard but everything here has been easy or smoother. It’s been refreshing. We came here to start anew and to cut out the boatload of distractions that Florida had for us and give my highly sensitive nervous system a break from the aggressiveness that has become Florida living.

I don’t swear nearly as much now in traffic.

wpid-img_20140918_0722282.jpg.jpegIt was the right decision because frankly we were worried it wasn’t. So far it’s been smooth sailing  and things are falling beautifully in place.  The last step now is moving into our new place and getting back into our rhythms and flow. I look forward to it.

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What does my  purpose entail? What will I be doing to help serve others?

Awareness – Bringing stuff to the surface. Opening eyes. Seeing things with a new view.

Conditioning – Letting go of others idea of the self and how to live life.

Tuning In – Shutting out distractions in order to listen to the inner voice.

Transformation – Bringing needed change for growth.

Abundance – Giving and receiving.

Past Lives – Breaking deep seated patterns within the self that cause disharmony in life.

Playfulness – Harnessing the “inner child” and adding the play to the element of life even as adults.

Projections – Letting go our judgements on others as well as not allowing theirs to cloud our view.

Flowering – Watching the potential of the self and others unfold and open beautifully.

Totality – Trust in the Universe, trust in the self, trust in others. Finding wholeness, oneness.

Namaste. Time for cake.

Purpose.

How can I find the way to my purpose?

wpid-cam000812.jpg.jpegSlowing down, resting in all ways that are needed.

wpid-cam000792.jpg.jpegPaying attention to where my energy is going and putting it in my places that matter and retracting it from places that don’t.

wpid-cam000732.jpg.jpegLetting things come to fruition when they are ready. It takes times for dreams to manifest.

wpid-cam000742.jpg.jpegAccepting the changes that come that allow me to break through the patterns that need to be broken to help myself progress to the next step.

wpid-cam000802.jpg.jpegMaking a decision and staying committed to it through ups and downs.

wpid-cam000772.jpg.jpegLetting the focus on the past (regrets, mistakes) go, don’t worry too much about the future but rather be in the present time as that is where I am right now.

wpid-cam000822.jpg.jpegAlways listen to my intuition.

wpid-cam000762.jpg.jpegCry when I feel it. It is a necessary release.

wpid-cam000752.jpg.jpegDon’t judge (the self or others.)

wpid-cam000722.jpg.jpegConnect and commune with the universe it is important.

wpid-cam000782.jpg.jpegBe an active part of my life. I won’t get anywhere just sitting on my yoga ass.

wpid-cam000712.jpg.jpegCelebrate the struggles they are as important as the times of ease. Balance!

wpid-cam000702.jpg.jpegDon’t hide, share myself (within boundaries – care of the self is important especially as an hsp.)

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I am at a place now where I am ready for this.

 Namaste.

IMG_20140718_073401I had a funny feeling sitting in my chair. I wasn’t sure why until I heard the door open and looked up. Panic strutted in with a cat got the canary grin and graciously sat down next to me. He put his hand on my knee and turned his head slowly, smiling.  I knew she wouldn’t be far behind, Anxiety walked in just moments after, her heels clicking against the floor in perfect rhythm. She sat down next to me as well and put an arm around my shoulder. She smiled sickly sweet. I groaned. No, no,no, no, no, no,no, no, no, no, no, no, and heaved a large sigh. I’m not sure there’s enough yoga for this! They smiled and said, probably not. They told me I better get comfortable they’re going to be around awhile.  I murmurred fuck and they giggled and I knew it was all over, the war between me and them was here and it was just beginning.

27 days.

 

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Tonight I gave more than I had. I got my yoga mat out and I sat down. I took one inhale and a everything began to flow out most unexpectedly. Waves surged through me and released into the ocean of my eyes, pouring like tiny waterfalls across my face, releasing with every breath, with every movement. I moved in the waves and let the ocean empty itself from me. Each movement a new wave, each breath a release.  In child’s pose the waves reached the shore of my mat. In seated pose I placed my hands together in prayer touching them to my heart, I arched my neck gently back and said to a benevolent and unknown being in the sky, there is nothing left of me to give. What is there but a mere shell of my former self and an ocean of storms yet to navigate? My sail quite tattered and my compass quite cracked but still pointing, this is the way girl. A voice caught by the storm and carried on the wind echoing that I have weathered worse and this too shall pass. I carry on and wait. Wait calmer seas, for the ocean inside of me to lull and drift and wash over my sweetly. I wait for the storms to subside and pray that my compass and sail will not fail me.

IMG_20140716_075752In my practice I am in my San Francisco apartment. The windows are open and it is evening. The fog has rolled in and begun to lay it’s thick blanket across the city. In the distance from my balcony I can see the twinkling lights of homes peeking through the veil of fog in the hills. I am flexible and I move with ease through each pose. My breath falls soft and deep. The chilly air comes through the windows and caresses my face. The tiny dog is on the couch, flipped over and sleeping peacefully. The mat beneath my naked feet is warm and inviting to each pose my limbs form into. I am free here. I am me. I am nothing and I am everything. I am whole.

Namaste.